Rather than jump in the fray and give my "unique" and informed summary of why Coakley lost (bitch) and why Brown won (anti-Obama), I'd like to address a different - though tangential - topic: why I prefer colored briefs to white briefs or boxers.


First, no boxers for me.
I am a freedom-loving individual, understanding that my freedoms cannot, by definition, infringe upon the freedoms of others - but believing that few other limitations apply. The seemingly obvious "too much freedom" doesn't apply here, as it implies a need for some restraint or controls on freedom. To those who prefer boxers: have at it. For those fans of commando: rock on, it is your right. For me, it begins and ends with comfort. In the immortal words of Cosmo Kramer, "My boys need a house."

As for why "tighty whitey" ain't my thing, the reality of a fast-paced man's life is that I simply do not have time to sit and ponder throughout the day; I'm constantly moving and shaking (pun intended) and sometimes small annoyances must be accepted. And, as a married man with a full-time maid, I seldom wash my own clothes, and women (who do sit and ponder the days away) just don't understand.

So, till the pace of life slows (and till I go full Brazilian) it will be colored briefs for me. And, as I learned so very long ago, in my beloved Corps, if you turn them inside out, they are clean!

1. You drive one of these




2. You own one of these




3. You want one of these


Act accordingly.

It ain't about respect or equality or "harassment. I do not what it is about, but I know what it ain't.

You see, I was on an air plane yesterday and a very hot (hottest I've ever seen) flight attendant called me "sweetie", and later called me "honey." I tried to feel harassed and violated, I just couldn't. Did I mention she was hot?

Maybe that's it: sexual harassment is something only unattractive people can do, it wasn't harassing BECAUSE she was attractive. If she were ugly and fat, perhaps I'd be filing a complaint with Continental Airlines today, but she ain't, so I'm not.

So, this begs the obvious question: how much "harassing" can I do (as a function of my attractiveness) without crossing a proverbial line?

Additionally, and any female reader can chime in here, do the same rules apply from the female perspective? If "honey" and "sweetie" are acceptable for women to say to men, are they acceptable for men to say to women?

Is "sugar-pants" over the line?

So, a black President, a retarded Director of Homeland Security, a Latino Supreme Court Justice, and a lesbian mayor sit down for a meeting. The meeting agenda: discover exactly how ball-less the white man has become.

“Let’s tell him searching white people will make air travel safer for everyone. Tell him he’s a selfish bastard for sacrificing national security for his convenience”

“Let’s tell him it’s racist and wrong to scrutinize the very small demographic responsible for all acts of terrorism on air planes over the past 20 years. Whitey has a powerful fear of being called a racist.”

“Let’s tell him terrorist acts ARE NOT terrorist acts. Play the “racism” card as needed, Whitey don’t like being called a racist.

“He’ll buy it, he’s ball-less.”

“Then let’s redistribute his wealth, take away his rights, and pass new laws behind closed doors that make him repay the world for his imperialistic ways.”

And the punchline: You, Whitey, are the punchline!

For those who don’t know me, I am 6”5’, 210 pounds, white, and a Marine. And today I wear a jacket with an American flag over the heart.

While passing through air port security this morning, an Arab walked through ahead of me, and they frisked ME! An Arab, probably 25, who maybe paid for his ticket in cash, who probably had no luggage, who almost definitely had “Mohammed” in his very long name, was deemed not a threat and I was the security risk.

Then, just before boarding the plane, my bag was searched. Poorly.

The policy of “illusion of security” has now been expanded to “tell the idiots who elected this Administration ‘Thank You’ by lying to their faces and implementing policies that utterly fail at increasing security or national defense.”

To those who elected this guy, thanx for that last nail in the coffin.